A Bite with Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers, loved by so many. In memoriam, here’s an article in Gourmet Magazine where she chats about food in her inimitable style ~

Gourmet Live: Do you cook?

Joan Rivers: I don’t cook. My big joke is that the B on the oven stands for “burn.” I can’t cook, and it makes me terribly sad. I would love to be all things to everybody, but I can’t. My big threat to Melissa (her daughter) as a child was, if she was really bad I’d say, “You’re going to bed with dinner!” She’d cry and cry and cry. I have a chef now.

GL: So when did you hire your chef?

Joan Rivers: I was doing the Carson show as a guest and I came home afterwards and cooked a meal for my husband and some friends. After dinner we took a walk and all my guests stopped at a deli and got sandwiches. And my husband said to me, “You know, you can’t cook. You can write a joke. So hire someone that can cook and you write the jokes.”

 

To continue reading please go to Gourmet Magazine 11/17/10

The I Hate to Cook Book by Peg Bracken

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Peg Bracken. My mother had her book. My mother did not cook. Or at the least, she didn’t like to cook. Peg Bracken was one of a kind, and definitely worth reading.

 

Some women, it is said, like to cook.

This book is not for them.

This book is for those of us who hate to, who have learned, through hard experience, that some activities become no less painful through repetition: childbearing, paying taxes, cooking. This book is for those of us who want to fold our big dishwater hands around a dry Martini instead of a wet flounder, come the end of a long day.

When you hate to cook, life is full of jolts: for instance, those ubiquitous full-color double-page spreads picturing what to serve on those little evenings when you want to take it easy. You’re flabbergasted. You wouldn’t cook that much food for a combination Thanksgiving and Irish wake. (Equally discouraging is the way the china always matches the food. You wonder what you’re doing wrong; because whether you’re serving fried oysters or baked beans, your plates always have the same old blue rims.)

And you’re flattened by articles that begin “Of course you know that basil and tomatoes are soulmates, but did you know…” They can stop right there, because the fact is, you didn’t know any such thing. It is a still sadder fact that, having been told, you won’t remember. When you hate to cook, your mind doesn’t retain items of this nature.

Oh, you keep on buying cookbooks, the way a homely woman buys hat after hat in the vain hope that this one will do it.

 

Read more at the Hachette Publishing Group page here: http://bit.ly/1nM49Ey

The Strange Case of Mr. Palliser’s Palate by Ogden Nash

nash72In Ogden Nash, we have an unusual writer – one who made it to be memorialized by having his photo put on a US Postage Stamp. Known as a poet (specializing in light verse) it’s probable Mr. Nash would find it amusing to be put in a group known as ‘foodwriters’. But since we really can’t say what is or what is not foodwriting, his pennings on palates just might belong here. Have a bite –

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To continue reading this poem, please click through to Liz Smith’s ‘Dishing’ on google books.